Catharsis
by scarletroseblade
Summary: Jean and Scott have been trying for years to have a family of thier own with only heartache and loss to show for it. JeanScott, ROMY set in AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Catharsis:** Purgation, to purge or cleanse.

I've read so many pregnancy stories here, I just couldn't help but tell the other side of the coin.

_Italics_ Stream of consciousness

:_Italics_: Telepathy

Catharsis

Chapter 1

Jean Grey set the test on the edge of the marble vanity and turned her back to it as she zipped up her jeans. All the mystery was gone, the anticipation and excitement. She'd been in this exact place three times in the past six months and it had lost all the magic it once had. When she'd bought the first test she stood in line at the drugstore thinking about chubby babies with brown hair and blue eyes. Her mind had spun with thoughts of pink and blue, tiny fingers and that new baby smell. Now when she paid for this last test, she felt nothing but dread, stepping on the roller coaster once again. Except this roller coaster didn't pull into a station after a fun thrilling ride, it dropped into a dark pit filled with the cloying stench of failure.

She flipped the stick over and two pink lines greeted her without remorse. The cars on the coaster had pulled out of the station without any second chance of getting off. Positive. Now, what was this test positive of? A happy ending that she'd been praying for? Or broken dreams once again? _Grow baby, grow_.

Jean looked at herself in the mirror, tucking the test into her pants pocket before fixing her hair. She didn't need to give anyone any cause to suspect anything was wrong. She didn't want the fuss, didn't want any of the attention. This was her problem. She steeled herself, taking in a calming breath before opening the door.

The hallway was empty and she deliberately stepped lightly, taking the steps down to the first floor two at a time. There were just too many observant people around. After being trained for combat for so many years, a person tends to notice the small details. The house was quiet for once; there wasn't anyone in the great room watching the now dark large screen plasma TV. The kitchen too was dark, even from the hall she could hear the hum of the refrigerator. She paused for a moment, not knowing exactly what to do next. It was always easier when she had a distraction, something else to focus on.

Calming her mind, she sent out a tendril of thought to Scott. It was a light mental touch akin to fingertips brushing the skin.

Scott however, had his team leader hat on. :_Going over intel reports just in from X-factor._ _We're in the war room if you're interested.:_

_:Thanks, but I think I'll bow out this time.: _

_:Everything okay:_

Jean slowly eased off the connection with Scott, not wanting him to sense any more of her anxiety than he already had. :_Yeah, sweetie. No worries. Just catch up with me later.:_

She severed the connection with him and found herself with nothing to do.

In the great room, along one wall, a huge glossy cherry wood bookshelf housed the mansions collective DVD library. Jean stood in front of it; her arms crossed over her chest and scanned the titles. She instantly discarded several prospects as they story focused on children or families or happy baby endings. All of that was just salt in the wound for someone whose happy endings were being held for ransom by some unknown entity who had yet sent the demand letter. She smiled half heartedly as she passed over several action movies. In this house they were considered comedy as they guys would happily sit around the TV and pick apart fight scenes sometimes frame by frame. It was usually an excruciating process for anyone who was actually following the plot, but it always made up for it when they started acting out the scenes especially after a couple of drinks.

Jean finally decided on Run Lola Run, something that she could just throw her mind into and ignore life for a while.

She hadn't realized how loud the volume on the surround sound had gotten until Jubilee bounded into the room. The petite Chinese American girl danced around the coffee table, raving to the pulsating techno soundtrack. She jumped in place holding her hands over her head. "All I need is a whistle!" She called out over the bass.

With her mind, Jean turned down the knob on the surround control. "Sorry about that, I had no idea that it had gotten that loud."

"Turn it back up, are you kidding! I didn't know you had it in you!" Jubilee jumped past her, dancing into the kitchen. "Welcome ladies and germs to club X, complete with a lightshow." A shower of brightly colored sparks arced over Jean's head and landed around her.

"I don't think that's going to fly around here, sweetie." Jean couldn't help but smile, Jubes was contagious.

The French doors to the courtyard opened across the room. "Fly? Maybe I could help?" Rogue stepped in out of the darkness outside with Remy LeBeau a half second behind.

Jean was off the couch in a second, running across the room to her friends. "You're finally back!"

Rogue held out her hands ready to accept an arm full of redhead. "We decided to resurface in the real world."

"There was no we." Remy said, dropping a heavy duffel bag to the ground. "She was feeling guilty."

Jean stuck out her tongue at him over Rogue's shoulder. "We'll you married her, now she gets to drag her anywhere she wants. They don't call it a ball and chain for nothing."

Jubilee ran from the kitchen with a squeal. "You're back! Ohmigod!"

_:Rogue and Remy are home.:_

_:Tell them that we'll be right there.:_

"Scott and the rest of the crew are on their way." Jean said, pulling back from Rogue. She took in her friend for a long moment, there was something going on behind Rogues eyes that gave her pause. "Something's happened."

Rogues lips played with a smile as she whispered, "I don't know how to feel just yet. But just wait a second until everyone gets here."

Nodding slightly, Jean smiled back wondering just what Rogue was talking about.

Scott led the group downstairs, his eyes crinkling with a grin. "We're the hell have you two been? Loafing around in the South Pacific?"

"Damn beach bums." Logan grumbled, all bluff as he stepped down behind Scott.

Hank loped down the stairs using all four limbs before perching on the massive wooden finial at the end of the staircase. "The newlyweds have resurfaced and I believe I win the pool. Payment due immediately, as I remember."

Leaning his head closer to his wife's Remy whispered in her ear. "Now is a good time, chere. Don't want to hurt no feelings about who knows first, just get it out in the open now."

Jean felt her stomach twist in a knot, but she kept her face in a calm mask. Hiding her emotions was something she'd gotten so adept at; it was nearly second nature holding exact control over mind and body. Too often it could be a weapon used against you in and out of the battlefield.

Rogue looked embarrassed and flushed slightly, grabbing Remy's hand with her own. "You are not without blame, hon. So don't make this all about me."

"Just spill it already!" Jubes called out from behind. "We're dying here!"

_Get ready for it._ It was like a race, timing a reaction so no one could ever suspect that she felt nothing but happiness and joy.

"We're pregnant." Rogue breathed, flushing again.

"Oh wow!" Jean said, smiling widely. "You guys have been busy!"

Later that night after many celebratory drinks and cigars that disintegrated to ash, Jean found herself alone in the suite that she shared with Scott. She had already slipped into a long silk nightgown and braided her hair for bed. Scott was still in the shower when she decided to hide the pregnancy test. In the second drawer of her nightstand she lifted out the small wooden box and opened it up. She had hid the others here and tossed them out when the test was no longer relevant, when the pregnancy had ended. She tucked a new one inside and closed it with a small prayer, hoping that whomever was listening might give her strength to endure.

She waited for him, listening the heavy droplets in the shower fall like waves as he washed his hair. Even as she waited, the dark green tendril of jealousy had slithered into her chest. _They got their baby on the first try. She's so naïve that she would dare tell a soul that she's pregnant, so certain of a baby at the end of the rainbow. Nothing's going to happen to her, she's invincible. _Invincible_. Is that why I can't keep a baby alive?_

The water stopped. The glass door clicked open and swung wide as Scott wrapped a wheat colored towel around his waist. "Babe, toss me my shades."

Jean smiled; she loved it when Scott tried too hard to be hip. She lifted the glasses off of the dresser and floated them across the room, settling them on his face. "All set, 'babe'."

He laughed at himself, "It just doesn't work, does it?"

"Sorry, you just don't do cool." Jean knew him too well. "I don't need cheering up."

"Liar. Try again."

"I don't. There's nothing that you can't say that I haven't already told myself a hundred times."

Smelling like warm soap, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his forehead on hers. "So then for the hundred and first time, I say that I know that we're going to have a baby. It's going to happen and I'll never give up on us."

_If I don't tell you, then I don't have to feel your pain when I tell you that I lost another one. _But in this room, with her husband so very close, she let her tears show. "I love you, Scott. What would I do without my strong man, my cornerstone?"

"Melt?"

"I already do that." Threading her fingers through his damp hair, she pulled him close and kissed him slowly.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter. It's great to have the counters finally, but a review is so inspiring. So if you'd like to read more PLEASE REVIEW! Even if it's simple and just 'great chapter, keep going!'.

Catharsis

Chapter 2

Jean stopped at the head of the stairs, bludgeoned with the smell of frying eggs. Nausea rolled over her as she held her breath trying not to take in any more of the offending odor until she got control of herself. So consumed with the effort not to run to the bathroom, she didn't hear Scott step up behind her.

"You're not suddenly afraid of the stairs are you?" He joked, settling his hands at her waist. "Or is it Logan's eggs?"

She laughed aloud, nervous at how close he was to the mark. "I just realized that we have a Danger Room session today, and I'm not dressed for it."

"Really? I completely forgot." He kissed her neck gently. "You are rather distracting in the morning."

"Stop it." She brushed him off, unable to focus on anything but keeping the contents of her stomach where they belonged.

"Okay, then." Scott let her go and took the steps down. "Do you want anything to eat?"

_Mind over body, mind over body. I can do this._ "Dry toast."

It was Scott's turn to laugh out loud. "Now _that's_ funny. Seriously though, hun. Pancakes? French toast? Cereal?" He turned back to her and all his amusement evaporated when he saw her face. "What the hell is going on with you?"

Jean could only run past him, turn left down the hall to the common bathroom and slam the door behind her. :I'm okay.:

"Like hell!" He said through the door, even the heavy wooden door couldn't muffle his concern. "I said that you looked pale yesterday, but you wouldn't listen. You're not taking care of yourself, Jean!" He paused while she retched again. "I'm going to get Hank."

:Don't! I'm fine, this is totally normal.:

"Normal? For what? The unending flu?"

Washing her mouth out with water from the sink, Jean glanced at her reflection. She did look terrible, but truth be told, a part of her was so relieved. Such strong morning sickness was a sign of a healthy pregnancy. Yet, this is not how she wanted to tell Scott. She had always imagined some sweet gift for him, a football or a cheesy t-shirt that said 'World's best Dad' or something sappy and saccharine. But, when had her life ever been sappy or predictable?

She opened the door and smiled. _I really hope I don't smell like puke right now, that is not how I want him to remember this moment. _"It's not the flu."

Scott shook his head, completely clueless. "Fill in the blanks for me, Jean. Don't make me guess, you know how much I hate that."

Whispering, she hoped that no one was hiding around the corner. "I'm pregnant."

He tilted his head to the side as if he hadn't heard her properly. "What?"

"Pregnant. About ten weeks."

"Oh my god." He swept her up in his arms and spun her around. "Oh my god!" He put her down suddenly, grasping her shoulders and holding her out at arms length. "How long have you known?"

"A while, I just wanted to make sure that we were really, really pregnant before I told you."

"Really pregnant? There's a difference between pregnant and _really_ pregnant?" He waved it off. "Doesn't matter. Let Hank know we're meeting him in Medbay, I want him to check you out." He grabbed her hand and led her to the elevator down the hall. "Please don't tell me that you told him before me."

"No one knows Scott." She stopped, pulling her hand away. "And I don't want anyone to know, it still too soon."

"What do you mean? Ten weeks, that's good right?"

"We're not even out of the first trimester yet, chances of miscarriage go down to ten percent after the thirteenth week. Let's at least wait until then."

Scott nodded, his jaw set. "Agreed. But no more missions, no Danger Room. You're retired from here on out."

"I can't do that Scott. You still need me." She motioned down the hall to where the rest of the team was eating in the kitchen. "They need me too. I'll cut back and not engage in combat, but I'm still doing fieldwork. I'm essential, don't try to tell me that I'm not."

Holding his hands out to her for truce, he projected calm. "Let's not argue about this now. I want to go downstairs and get a first look at my baby."

Jean accepted his hand with a reluctant smile. " 'My baby'. Like you were the only one to be involved."

"How many people does it take? Have we been doing something wrong all this time?" Scott squeezed her hand and led her to the elevator.

Nearly a month later, the weather was just starting to get warm enough to go outside without a coat and Jean was taking every advantage of mother nature's generosity. She had spread a blanket out on one of the lawns near the lake and brought a book with her to enjoy the afternoon. The baby was not yet showing, even if her pants did feel quite snug these days. Between the pages of her book she had tucked one of the ultrasound pictures that Hank had printed out for her. It was a reminder; now that the morning sickness had faded away that she was indeed pregnant, even if the picture was just a white gummy bear looking smudge in a field of black.

A branch snapped behind her and Jean tucked the picture into the pages out of sight. "Hey Rogue."

"Hey yourself." Rogue grouched, stepping down the knoll to join Jean. Rogue could no longer hide her future expectations, as her belly had rounded nicely beneath her clothes. She eased herself down onto the blanket. "I can't bend in the middle. It's the weirdest feeling to now have resistance when you bend. Nothing's ever been there before, and now it's constantly getting in the way."

Jean nodded, trying to offer understanding. "I felt so bad when you knocked the glass off the table last night."

"Oh yeah. I thought Remy was going was going to hyperventilate, he was laughing so hard. He just doesn't understand that I have a hard time remembering how big I've gotten." Rogue patted her belly. "I can't believe how fast everything is moving, he's going to be here in just three months. I'm going to be a mom."

Jean looked out over the water and at the shore on the other side. "But you're a mom now."

"I never thought about it that way." Rogue was wistful. "Remy's got of lot of diapers to do after all this."

"And laundry." Jean offered, nudging her friend with her elbow. "And cooking."

Rogue laughed so hard, she snorted. "Stop, it! You're going to make me cry."

Jean smiled and looked up at the cloudless sky and wished she could tell her friend that she understood. But she and Scott had decided not to share their happy news until after the amniocentesis results had come back from Hank, who even now was analyzing the data in the Medlab. She couldn't in her life remember a time when she'd been so happy, that life felt so good. Her baby was growing so well and looked perfect on every scan she'd been able to beg from Hank. Scott was walking on cloud nine; she'd never seen him smile so much. Life for the time being was quiet. Scott had quietly delegated a lot of their responsibilities to X-Factor to give time off to the team. Logan had taken off on his bike feeling the call of wanderlust. Hank was helping Moira MacTaggert with some research while being at the beck and call of two expectant moms. Life had settled into a predictable pattern and Jean loved every calm day.

Now she just had to wait until seven o'clock, when Hank had estimated the results to be completed.

"Earth to Jean." Rogue said, looking curiously over. "Where did you fly off to?"

"Oh, just a lot on my mind." Jean shrugged. "Nothing new."

"You know, with things being so boring around here, you and Scott should take a vacation. Go somewhere exotic and hot."

"Things aren't boring around here." Jean patted Rogues belly lightly. "We're sticking around in case anything happens."

"Nothing is happening. Unless you count my endless consumption of grapefruit, and I hate grapefruit."

"What is up with that?" Jean asked, genuinely curious.

"I have no freaking idea. And the heartburn afterwards, I tell you, I pay for it. But that's almost all I want to eat."

"Lord help Remy if we run out."

"That boy has to have a job, can't sit around and look pretty all the time."

"Speaking of which-" Jean checked her watch, 6:15. "We should head back."

At seven o'clock, Jean and Scott got into the elevator in silence, holding hands. He gave her hand a strong squeeze, but said nothing. She squeezed back and prayed.

Hank met them in the doorway to the Medlab with a wolf like grin. "Great news. Everything looks great, absolutely normal."

Jean felt her heart lope to a strange beat. "Normal? What is normal?"

Scanning the paper again, Hank pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with one finger. "Male, homosuperior. Is that normal enough for you?"

"A boy! A mutant boy!" Scott hugged Hank, clapping him soundly on the back.

"Thank you, Hank. Thank you so much." Jean breathed out, feeling the weight that had settled since she took the pregnancy test two months ago lift from her chest. Everything was going to be fine.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you, thank you, thank you.. and one more time.. Thank you for all the reviews! It makes my day.

Catharsis

Chapter 3

Jean looked at her profile in the boutique mirror, amazed at how big her belly had grown. She smoothed the shirt tight against the bump, marveling at the sight. Twenty seven weeks along and her son was growing beautifully. Jean smiled, angling herself towards the floor length mirror to get a better view.

Rogue, however, was not so pleased to see her own reflection. "That's horrific. I can't believe they'd put that here with all the preggo women around. I'm like a house with feet." She had adopted the tell tale pregnant waddle, complete with the hands pressed into the small of her back.

"Non, chere. Vous êtes beau." Remy was waiting patiently in the husband/boyfriend/significant other lounge area with Scott, keeping an eye on the many shopping bags that the women had procured during the day. "I wouldn't want you any other way."

"Tell him to shut up before I do something unfitting a mother to be." Rogue said, none too quietly. "I am not beautiful, I am a whale." She pointed at Remy with a threatening finger. "Stop!"

Remy shrugged, smirking as he gave Scott a look that said plainly, he could not win.

Scott remained wisely silent, watching Jean admire herself in the mirror. _The most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Are you listening?_

_:Yes. And I heartily agree.:_ She shifted her weight, trying to get comfortable. Her back had been aching all day. :_Please come rub my back, it still hurts.:_

Scott was up out of his seat. "We can go home, if you want." He pressed his palm against her spine, rubbing slightly. "Whenever you're ready."

"Are you kidding?" Jean sighed, motioning for him to stop. "I've always wanted to come in this shop, but I told myself I wouldn't until I had a reason." She glanced around at the racks of christening gowns; fluffy pink lace dresses and delicately crocheted baby blankets. "This has been a dream for me."

"All right then. But we're leaving in a half hour and going home. Feet up for the rest of the day." Scott said, quietly so no one else could hear.

"Yes, Dr. Summers." Jean patted his cheek before going to the table full of powder blue baby sleepers and caps.

That night, Jean couldn't sleep. Her back kept aching even after she'd taken the two Tylenol that Hank had recommended. She got up quietly to not disturb Scott and decided to take a shower and let the heat of the water relax her muscles. The baby swished inside her, the kicks that she had first felt like feather light touches were now becoming much stronger. They were pokes and jabs, nothing painful but much more noticeable. Jean put a calming hand to her belly as she turned on the water to the shower. She let the jets of water pound on her back for such a long time that her skin hat turned red from the heat, but finally worked their magic enough for her to go back to bed and get a few hours of sleep.

Scott woke her up the next morning with a soft kiss on the forehead. "Morning, sleepyhead."

"Hmph." Jean said, still tired.

"I've got some errands to go and run. You don't mind if I leave you here, do you?"

"Errands?" Jean said, stretching. Her back pulsed again.

"Just some stuff. You know."

Jean rolled over on her side and hugged her pillow. "Don't even try to keep secrets from me, Scott Summers. You're up to something."

"And what kind of husband would I be if I didn't try? You always said you wanted a normal mundane life, just try it out for a day then and let me keep my secret. I promise you won't be disappointed." He smoothed her hair away from her face.

"Promises, promises." She closed her eyes to go back to sleep. "Have fun."

It was early afternoon when she woke up again; the house around her was quiet and still. She decided to get up, easing out of bed. She felt hot and flushed. Feeling her cheeks with her hands, she couldn't really discern a difference, but decided that any heat she might be feeling was due to the down comforter on the bed. She brushed her concerns aside, looking at the bounty of bags Scott had set in the corner of the room from their shopping trip the day before. Sitting down on the floor, still in her pajamas, she got to the business of sorting and removing the tags from the precious blue, yellow and green outfits and items they had bought.

Stepping carefully downstairs, laundry basket tucked under one arm and the handrail firmly grasped in her free hand, Jean felt a tightening across her belly. The feeling started around the top of her uterus and then wrapped around her like a wide belt. Her back pulled at the same time, so firmly that she stopped for a moment. _Braxton-hicks, that's what these are. The dress rehearsal contractions. _She shook off her concern and went down to the laundry room to wash the baby clothes.

Jean went about her day, getting something to eat, chatting up Rogue, ignoring the ache in her belly and back. _I'm just over-reacting; poor Hank gets bothered enough between the two of us. This is nothing. _

By four o'clock, Jean was watching the clock in the living room, timing the aches. Five minutes apart, sometimes four, sometimes seven. A feeling of panic was starting to rise within her even as she wrestled with herself. Hank had stepped out of the mansion, as he was apt to do. She didn't want to call him, not for something silly like this, something that was going to turn out to be nothing anyway.

Hank walked into the room via the doors from the courtyard. "Hello all! I've bought some gorgeous steaks for dinner, I was feeling carnivorous."

Jean twisted around in her seat, watching Hank carry his groceries into the kitchen. She felt so dumb, so inexperienced and yet so very scared. _Better just bite the bullet. He'll tell me that this is normal and there was nothing to worry about. It'll be okay._

She followed him into the kitchen. "Um, Hank. Mind if I ask you a doctor type question?"

"Of course not, Jean. Ask away." Hank had opened the door to the fridge and was shuffling items about trying to find room for his steaks.

"I've been having some cramps, and I wondered if they could be Braxton-Hicks."

Hank nodded thoughtfully, closing the door. "I suppose, but you're a bit early for Braxton-Hicks. How do they feel?"

"They're here-" She motioned to her back, "And then they squeeze here." And she rubbed the largest part of her belly. "They're driving me crazy."

"How long has this been going on?" Hank said, eyeing her closely.

"It all started yesterday, I guess. It didn't go to the front until today. They're hard to time, but every five to seven minutes apart."

"I see. Why don't we go down stairs and take a look?"

Jean swallowed the cold lump of fear in her throat. _He's just being cautious, it's his nature._ "Okay."

It was easy to view Hank as a clinician in the Medbay. He'd been treating them all for years, and not just for the injuries that cropped up in the field. He was professional and courteous, very clearly a doctor when the situation demanded it. So as Jean lay on the table waiting for one of her close friends to perform a pelvic exam on her, she didn't think twice about it, neither did Scott. He was a trusted friend and the best doctor they knew.

Jean watched Hank's face as he examined her, and the furrowing of his eyebrows did not escape her notice. "What's going on?"

He pulled off his glove, and averted his eyes away. "I need to get you on a monitor to see your contractions."

_Contractions._ Dread gripped her chest as she tried to breathe. "What's happening?"

He opened a drawer and lifted out a small unit with wires and large pink belt. Slipping the belt underneath her, he adjusted the sensors and strapped them down with the belt. He flipped on the machine. The screen caught the baby's heartbeat immediately, 174. Then the number below went to four, to five and rose higher. Jean could then feel her belly tighten. He clicked over a button, and a sheet of paper like cash register tape started printing out the top. "You're in labor, Jean. I'm going to give you some morphine to try to stop the contractions."

"Morphine?" She breathed out. "I don't understand-"

"If it doesn't stop it, we're going to have to take you to Liberty Hospital. They'll have better medication to manage it, plus a NICU for the baby." Hank was calm and firm.

"NICU? Oh my god, it's too soon!" Jean swallowed hard, watching the numbers decrease on the monitor. But the baby's heart remained steady.

Hank went to another station, unlocking a cabinet and selecting a small glass vial. "Where's Scott?" He filled a syringe and returned to her side.

"I don't know, he said he had to run an errand."

Hank tied a tourniquet around her upper arm, found the vein and gave her the injection. The medication burned with a slow heat that drifted through her body. It was suddenly very difficult to keep her eyes open. "Jean, tell Scott he needs to come home now." She felt the O2 monitor clipped to her finger as she drifted.

_:Scott:_ She felt him startle even across the distance.

_You startled me! Is something wrong? You feel.. odd_.

The combination of fear and the immediate effect of the medication left her unable to soften the news. _:I'm in labor and Hank gave me morphine. He says you need to come home.:_ Another contraction tensed across her, ignoring the morphine's powerful effect. _:I'm scared.:_

Even through the haze of the drug, she could feel his steel resolve. _I'm on my way, stay calm Jean. Hank will take care of you._

Jean drifted off, no longer in control of her mind and let the darkness absorb her. _:Take care of my baby, Hank.:_


	4. Chapter 4

Okay folks, I never promised a happy story here… I hope that you didn't get the wrong impression..

Catharsis

Chapter 4

Jean had no memory of the ride to the hospital. She opened her eyes to the dizzying sight of white walls and wooden doors flying by her head. Nonsensical voices whispered in her mind, the random thoughts of the people in the vicinity.

_-more pain medication, can't they see how much this hurts-_

_-how much is this going to cost me-_

_-I wish you'd just go to sleep so I can go home, this is so boring-_

A contraction pulled across her stomach, and she reached for her belly. Still rounded, her son moved inside, feeling very much like an octopus swirling within her. "He's okay." She murmured to herself.

"There you are." Scott said, walking next to her as she was pushed down the hall. "Hank gave you some really nice stuff, apparently."

Jean looked at her husband and felt something twist inside her. He was being so cheerful, so upbeat. It confirmed that he was just as scared as she was. She tried to compose the words, to tell him not to worry and that everything was going to work out. Even in her head they sounded so hollow and brittle, so she offered him a watery smile. "I'm glad you're here."

They turned a corner and entered a private room. Two orderlies helped Jean move onto the bed, which had been reclined to be perfectly flat. Jean looked up at the ceiling as a nurse bustled around her taking her temperature and checking her blood pressure.

"I'm Tina." She introduced herself as she watched the gauge on the cuff. She was a blocky, industrious nurse who was all business. "Looks like you're running a temperature." She the probe out of Jean's mouth and discharged the plastic sheath into the garbage.

"What is it now?" Hank asked from the corner of the room.

Jean lifted her head up and looked for him, not realizing that Hank had come with them to the hospital. Instead of the huge blue furred man that they had affectionately dubbed 'Beast' stood a tall broad shouldered blond haired man with wire rimmed glasses. He had brought his holo-emitter. "Dr. McCoy, so glad to see you." She still felt tremendously high from the morphine he'd administered earlier.

He smiled slightly, waiting for the nurses response.

"39.2." The nurse paused over her clipboard. "Can I speak to you outside about your orders, Dr. McCoy?"

"Of course." He motioned for the nurse to leave the room. "I'll be right back, sit tight."

"Not going anywhere fast." Jean said, staring around at the room. It was a maternity suite, painted a pale pink. It was deceptive, a room specially designed to feel more like a home and less like a hospital. Instead of stackable plastic chairs, there was a couch and a rocking chair. All of the storage units looked like pine cabinets. It could've been a hotel room, almost. The floor was still a sickly green slate tile and the bed she lay on was still a hospital bed.

Scott had perched himself on the edge of the couch, his elbows on his knees and his hands grasped to his mouth.

"Are you praying?" Jean asked him softly.

Scott took his hands away from his face. "Do you think I should be?"

The answer caught in her throat and she couldn't trust her voice not to crack if she spoke. :Yes.:

Hank rejoined them, with another doctor in tow. The holo-emitter was designed to mimic every aspect of his physical being with a lifelike shell that hid his true identity. Unfortunately the holo-emitter could not hide the somber look on Hank's face. "I'd like to introduce Dr. Holmes, he's a perinatologist here."

"Perinatologist?" Scott asked before Jean got a chance to.

"A doctor for high risk pregnancies." Hank explained. "He and I are in agreement, that we're going to start you on magnesium sulfate, a drug that will relax your muscles to keep you from contracting further. We're also going to run an amniocentesis to check the fluid around the baby."

Jean was confused. "But, I already had one of those."

"Yes, but we need to run another one." Hank was being deliberately evasive.

Jean couldn't look at him anymore, choosing instead to look up again at the blank pink ceiling. She had the ability, she could sneak into his mind and extract his thoughts without Hank even knowing. But she couldn't do that, not to Hank. Instead she turned to Scott. _:What do you think the test is for:_

_I don't know and I don't like that he's not telling us._

_:He's got his doctor hat on, if he doesn't want to tell us.. We'll just wait I guess.:_

The nurse returned, and got an IV started in Jean's arm. She bought in a plastic bag of fluids and hooked it up to the monitored drip. "This will make you feel really bad, like you've got the flu. Kinda hot and tired, but it's normal."

Jean closed her eyes. _I can't believe this is happening, I can't believe this is happening._ To her surprise, Scott slid his palm beneath hers on the bed.

_I'm right here, you know. You're not alone._

_:I'm so scared, Scott. It's what Hank's not saying that has me so worried, he hasn't said anything about the baby.:_

He gave her hand a squeeze. _Just take a deep breath, we're in the right place Jean. It'll be okay._

It took about a half an hour for Dr. Holmes to return with another nurse and an ultrasound machine. The nurse prepped Jean's belly, swabbing it with the yellow brown betadine solution as Scott looked on from the corner of the room to stay out of the way. Using the ultrasound machine, Dr Holmes tried to move the baby to get access to a large pocket of fluid. He held poised over Jean's stomach waiting for the baby to hold still. "He's very active." The doctor said, watching the monitor carefully.

_He better not hit my son with that needle._ Scott growled in her mind.

His tone made her smile in spite of herself. _:He won't, he's a professional.:_

_If he does, I'm blasting him out that window. Just watch me._

The doctor saw his opportunity and jabbed the needle in, drawing out a few tablespoons worth of fluid. A weight squeezed her chest as Jean watched the syringe fill. The fluid wasn't clear, as it had been when Hank had performed the same test so many weeks ago. Now it had a distinct pale honey color. Jean swallowed as the doctor withdrew the needle. "Is that bad, the color? Is something wrong?"

The doctor handed the sample at the nurse, then removed his gloves. "Amniotic fluid can vary in color. We're going to have it tested and let you know if we find anything." Yet, he was careful not to look at her or her husband as he left the room.

Jean prayed as the nurse cleaned up her belly and removed the equipment from the room. _Please god, protect my baby. Don't let anything happen to him, don't take him away from me._

Time marched on in the room, the sun set outside and soon it was just another dark night. The magnesium sulfate indeed made Jean very sick, but the contractions had slowed to nothing and her exhaustion caught up with her as she let herself drift in and out of sleep. Scott however, didn't deal with stress in such a confined space well and took to pacing in the room, down the hall and around the nurses station and back again.

Jean didn't hear the knock at the door the first time, just Hank's palm on her shoulder, so cool against her skin. She opened her eyes, looking up at him through groggy eyes. "I didn't recognize you there for a sec, Hank. That holo-emitter throws me every time."

Although his focus was on Jean, he spoke to Scott. "Lock the door, I'm turning off the holo-emitter."

She heard Scott's steps across the tile, then the door click and lock. "What's going on?"

The image around Hank shimmered and evaporated, leaving the familiar countenance of their blue furred friend. "We ran the test on the amniotic fluid. The results are not good."

Her breaths came quicker as the room began to spin. "Don't, Hank."

"There is an infection, in the fluid and as a result the placenta. It's very aggressive in that environment, and the baby has no natural defenses. So the infection is affecting him as well."

Scott, always the leader, wanted to take charge. "So we take the baby out, right?"

"Yes." Hank said quietly. "But the baby is too young, his lungs too immature to survive."

"NO!" Jean said through clenched teeth. "I won't let this happen. Hank, you can't let this happen. Give me antibiotics, give the baby antibiotics, we'll fight this!"

"That won't work, Jean." Hank shook his head, looking at her with pained yellow eyes. "That has never worked, the placenta is still an effective filter and the antibiotics will not get to the baby."

Her breaths came like shudders through her chest. "Then I keep him in, until he's old enough. Can't they give him steroids to develop his lungs?"

Hank shook his head, "That's not an option. The infection will pass to you soon if we don't get the baby out, if that happens the bacteria will invade your bloodstream and send you into sepsis. It can be fatal, Jean."

"But would the baby survive?" Jean asked, squeezing the tears from her eyes.

"It's not worth it," Scott said, his voice unyielding. He was a leader at his core and making life and death decisions were an every day responsibility. "I will not lose you again. There is _no_ choice here."

"Says you!" Jean cried out, covering her face with her shaking hands. "This isn't happening! Oh my god, Hank. Please tell me there is another solution."

"We don't have any time for this, Jean. Your body is already trying to fight the infection; if your fever goes much higher we're looking at seizures. The magnesium sulfate is a short-term solution. Your body will continue to contract until you give birth, it will fight to save itself."

"And the baby?" She choked.

"Jean." Hank said softly, almost begging not to answer the question.

"Odds, Hank. Give me odds."

"Five percent, maybe. The infection will cause massive brain damage at the very least. He would be very, very handicapped if he survived."

Jean couldn't speak, she couldn't think. The shock of it all, of Hank's words and all of the dreams that she held for her baby spun in her mind like a whirl wind of broken glass. It sliced and burned her as it spun around her, unchecked. She only partly heard Hank speaking.

"The nurse will be in to start the pitocin and induce labor."

For a moment, Jean was able to refocus. She lashed out at Hank, pushing him into the opposite wall with her mind. "**_No!_** No one, not even you, will take my baby away from me." _I'll kill anyone who tries_.

"Jean." Scott's voice was low and calm, so close to her she could feel his breath on her skin. "Let Hank go, it's not his fault."

"Did you hear what he said? He wants our baby to die."

"No, he wants you to live. _Let. Him. Go_."

Jean took her hands from her face, so overcome she couldn't speak. _:Don't let them do this, Scott. Don't let them.:_

His hands cupped her face as he leaned down and touched his forehead to hers. _This is the way it has to be, babe. We can't save him, but we can still save you. Please don't make me lose you both._

Jean reached up and grabbed Scott with a desperation she had never felt, as if holding on to him would rescue her from the nightmare that had cornered her in this horrid hospital room_. :Let's leave, let's run away and never come back. If we go now, maybe this will all just disappear, and things can go back the way they were.:_ She sobbed, deep wrenching spasms that shook her even as he held her close.

_We will, as soon as this is over. I'll take you far away, I promise._

Jean released Hank and let her grief break free as she wept hopelessly into Scott's chest.


End file.
